here's what you’ve always wanted... the soundtrack to my page... sounds to throw a spastic over... of course, you’ve got to find all the tracks and record it yourselves because i’m shagged if I know what an mp3 is... but don’t worry, because i’ve made a really pretty cover for your cassette, which you’re welcome to copypasteprintoutcutoutandkeep... all you need is a 90 minute tape (no fucking mini-disks)... trust me, it’s all good...
and here’s an anally retentive, highly uninformative and thoroughly biased explanation of all the tracks...
side one
1… aphex twin... milkman... innocent melodies from nursery-rhymes, evil beats from hell... taken from his 1996 single ‘girl/boy song’.
2… the beach boys... vegetables... a.k.a. ‘the dangers of taking l.s.d.’... it’s all about vegetables... man... rumour has it that paul mccartney recorded the vegetable munching sounds. taken from their 1967 album ‘smiley smile’.
3... the beatles... tomorrow never knows... oh shit, i spelt it wrong on the cover... so good that the chemical brothers ripped it off wholesale on ‘setting sun’... well, you must have heard it before... surely?... taken from their 1966 album ‘revolver’.
4… bis... popstar kill... ultra-ultra-ultra cheesy teen-synth-lo-fi... from scotland... the most cheerful people you’ll ever meet... over here they’re on wiiija records, but in america they’re on the beastie boys’ ‘grand royal’ label... taken from their 1997 album ‘the new transistor heroes’.
5... bjork... pluto... it’s like marmite... you either love it or hate it... i still haven’t met anyone else who loves it... taken from her 1997 album ‘homogenic’.
6... blur... yuko + hiro... ok... lets set the record straight... blur are a fucking good band... ‘song 2’ was one of their worst mistakes... taken from their 1995 album ‘the great escape’.
7... the clash... white riot... officially ‘the best band in the whole world ever-ever-ever’... because i say so... taken from their 1977 album ‘the clash’.
8... the cramps... faster pussycat... russ meyer meets ed wood... like a transsexual doing elvis presley impressions... very rocky horror... taken from their 1983 live album ‘smells like female’.
9... the dead kennedys... nazi punks- fuck off... the sex pistols on speed... hang on, they were on speed... err, the sex pistols on 45 rpm instead of 33... with a positive message... one-minute classic...
10... marvin gaye... mercy mercy me... beautiful... that’s all... taken from the 1971 album ‘what’s going on’ (which everybody on earth should own).
11... the jesus lizard... mouth breather... rock/metal/punk/hardcore bunch of nutters... with a singer who pisses on crowds... mmm, tasty... taken from their 1991 album ‘goat’.
12... the lemonheads… buddy... perfect heroin pop... makes you want to stare at your shoes... taken from their 1992 album ‘it’s a shame about ray’.
13... manic street preachers... 4st 7lb… guaranteed to kill any party... unless it’s full of goths... all about anorexia, which the band’s guitarist/lyricist richie edwards suffered from... until he disappeared in 1995... painful stuff... taken from their beautiful/ugly 1994 album ‘the holy bible’.
14... massive attack... inertia creeps... impossible to categorise... just call it fucking genius... taken from their 1998 album ‘mezzanine’.
15... µ-ziq... the fear... aphex twin’s friend... mozart with a drum machine... taken form his 1999 album ‘royal astronomy’.
side two
1... nirvana... territorial pissings... “cum orrrn peepurl nowwwwww, smaaal unn yer bruuutha, evreebodee getagetha, trita lurve wunanutha riite now.’... the one that made being twelve years old feel so good... taken from... oh, you know.
2... primal scream... kowalski... techno-dub... like lee ‘scratch’ perry being electrocuted... taken from their 1997 album ‘vanishing point’.
3... public enemy... prophets of rage... the definitive hip-hop group... the best thing to come out of america since jimi hendrix... fuck puff daddy... taken from their 1987 album ‘it takes a nation of millions to hold us back’.
4… the sex pistols… e.m.i. (unlimited edition)… more a work of art than a band… i aspire to kick society as deep as they did… taken from their 1977 album ‘never mind the bollocks here’s the sex pistols’ (obviously).
5… dj shadow… mutual slump… proving how glorious sampling can be… will smith, take a hint… and this one’s got a bjrk sample (possibly maybe)… which is fine by me… taken from his 1996 album ‘endtroducing’.
6… frank sinatra… in the wee small hours of the morning… old no eyes is back (hehehe)… the best hangover cure… taken from… somewhere.
7… smashing pumpkins… rocket… i wish it was the summer of ’94 again… it’s very hard to pick out single s. p. songs, because they make such perfectly rounded albums… if that makes sense… taken from their 1993 album ‘siamese dream’.
8… the smiths… girlfriend in a coma… miserable for the sake of it… and why not?… taken from their 1987 album ‘strangeways, here we come’.
9… the specials… friday night, saturday morning… the greatest symbol of multicultural london… as terry hall explained “two blacks and a jew”… it sounded better when he said it… rancid wish they were them… i wish i was them… taken from their 1981 single ‘ghost town’.
10... spiritualized… cool waves… if heaven existed, it would sound like spiritualized… gospel choir and all… except less loneliness and despair… taken from their 1997 album ‘ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space’.
11... tricky… brand new, you’re retro… used to be in massive attack… but became paranoid and went solo… frightening, aching, aggressive, passive…and a voice like the things under your bed… and this track has a sample from michael jackson’s ‘bad’… taken from his 1995 album ‘maxinquaye’.
12... the velvet underground… sunday morning… art wankers… taken from their 1967 album… err… the one with a big bright banana on the cover courtesy of andy warhol.
13... stevie wonder… don’t you worry ‘bout a thing… ‘when you’re feeling sad and blue, call uncle stevie and he’ll know what to do’… taken from his 1973 album ‘inner visions’.
the people i forgot/ didn’t have space to include... ... bad brains… the band… john barry… beck… the bee gees… bentley rhythm ace… black flag… black sabbath… the boo radleys… david bowie… the breeders… james brown… carter the unstoppable sex machine… the chemical brothers… leonard cohen… john coltrane… cornershop… miles davis… bob dylan… fugazi… the fun lovin’ criminals… goldie… guns n’ roses… jimi hendrix… the happy mondays… ben e. king… the kinks… kraftwerk… led zeppelin… leftfield… madness… bob marley… merzbow… mogwai… van morrison… nofx… orbital… pantera… lee ‘scratch’ perry… wilson pickett… the pogues… iggy pop… portishead… pulp… the prodigy… radiohead… otis redding… the rolling stones… sepultura… sham 69… simon and garfunkle… sonic youth… soundgarden… squarepusher… the stone roses… the sugar cubes… super furry animals… supergrass… the supremes… talking heads… underworld… uresei yatsura… u2… link wray… neil young.